I’m in a Starbucks right now in Portland.

I’m aware that this is incredibly cliche – it’s like being at a rodeo in Texas, or a corn field in Nebraska, or a meeting with a full-of-crap label owner in Nashville. (Alternate punchlines to that joke: Surgeon in Hollywood, Drunk in New York/Ireland, Fat in Houston, Deathly ill in Mexico, Asleep in a Baptist church…)

I’m traveling with Belfast native Jimmy Brown (http://www.myspace.com/jimmybrownmusic) and his friend Tim on this trip, which is relatively new for me – I have done a lot of traveling on my own, and while it leads to a few good things (more likely to be sociable & meet new people) it also leads to a lot of bad things (more likely to feel utterly alone, hate my life, not appreciate the sights or the adventures.)

Something as simple as a …nother… trip to a Starbucks drive-thru (I swear this was all Jimmy’s idea, I had, at one point, completely boycotted them) that clued me in to the fact that I was enjoying life a lot more with friends than I had been alone. (this story will be more funny and authentic if you give Jimmy & Tim Northern Irish accents in your mind.)

Barista: “Welcome to Starbucks, can I help you” Jimmy: “Um, yeah, can I get a tall coffee with cream, please?” B: “Do you need sugar?” J: “No thanks, I’m sweet enough”

(later)

Tim: “and, could I get a coffee please?” Barista: “Do you need cream and sugar, or are you sweet enough too?” T: “… are you hitting on me?” B: “.. um, no, I was…um.” T: “This surely goes beyond the Starbucks code of conduct, can I speak to a manager, please?” B: silence T: “I’m just kidding. Sugar, please.”

I’m sure it was funnier in real life, but it’s a simple, juvenile example of a grander truth: Life is better when other people are involved in it. Had I been alone, I wouldn’t have even stopped at Starbucks. I could have been annoyed and focused on how “this isn’t the way I would have done it”, but instead I spent a part of my morning laughing so hard I could barely pull up to the window. I’ve laughed more, I’ve smiled more, and I’ve been more flexible on this trip than any in the last three years.

As “Wage Slave Rebels”, there’s a huge temptation to cut ourselves off from everyone. They are not the ones with the vision, they don’t care about our passion as much as we do, and therefore, we think we can do it better. And in truth, maybe we can. But not for long.

I must admit that I am a terrible control freak. I do 11 jobs right now, and I do each of them with a stunning level of mediocrity because for each job, I have a system that I made. It might not be the best system, but it works for me. When I allow (or beg) other people to help, they have their own way of doing things, and instead of relinquishing control, I react out of fear and pride:

“What if their system isn’t as good?” “What if they leave and I don’t understand their system? I’ll have to start over!” “What if I end up at a venue in Boston who doesn’t even know I am coming?” (this actually happened once.) “What if they don’t know what the heck they are doing? They’ll make my whole operation look unprofessional!”

The truth is, if I were doing just one of those jobs, I would (if I do say so myself) be good at it. I’d be a great booking agent if I weren’t busy promoting/traveling/writing/recording/performing/arranging/replying-to-e-mails/writing a weekly column once a month. But in truth, because I spread myself so thin, it already looks unprofessional when I do things like wait 2 weeks to reply to an important e-mail because I’ve been driving with no internet access. Or fail to properly promote the upcoming tour (same reason), or go into the studio and have to spend a half a day re-learning my songs before I record them because I’ve been busy catching up on booking and promotion e-mails instead of practicing.

I need people. But more importantly, I need to learn how to work with people. It’s made touring a hundred times more enjoyable. I’m sure it would eventually do the same with the other aspects of my life.

Related posts

1. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: Lessons from the Road
2. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: Why I Killed Myself
3. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: Stretching Your Personal Skills for Professional Gain
4. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: On Tour
5. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: A Brief Introduction to my Madness