Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: Stretching Your Personal Skills for Professional Gain

Geez. Books upon books upon books have been written on this subject, and I’m not going to regale you with anything about how to win friends and influence people, or move their cheese, but I will say this – especially for us “Indies”, if you aren’t spending at least a little time honing your social skills, you’re fighting a losing battle.

I had a conversation with a friend this week about our personalities. (We’re 21st-Century men, and we can do that.) His assessment of me was that I was a pleasant extrovert. This caught me a little by surprise until I thought about it – that really is what I portray. When I’m on stage, I’m all but demanding the attention of the room. When it’s over, I’m selling merch, and I legitimately do enjoy the interaction. (really. I’m not just saying that because people will read this.) But it hasn’t always been that way.

I’m naturally pretty shy. I don’t talk to strangers unless there’s a good reason. I had a crush on Marijke Sanders for three years in High School. Three Years!! I still don’t think she knows. While I have been nothing short of cavalier with the big decisions in my life (moving to another country, quitting school…) I have really had to work on my natural bent towards the silent and invisible.

Once I get off a stage (like tonight) I get in a car and turn the radio off and just soak in the silence.

How did I become someone who entertains for a living?

I can pinpoint the moment it started, actually. The one thing of use I learned in two years of college was how to speak in public. I still remember the first speech I gave: “How to hit a curveball”. It was terrible. In truth, my own inability to hit a curveball was the reason I was planning on being a play-by-play announcer rather than a 2nd-baseman. But over the course of the class, I watched the more naturally extroverted give speech after speech that held the rapt attention of the class.

I am nothing if not these two things: Competitive and a Quick Learner. I learned how to feign comfort. I watched my dad, a preacher, as he threw quips and analogies into his sermons. I took mental notes. By the end of the semester, I had the class in my fingertips. Every joke was met with laughter. The girls in the class were leaned forward, elbows on the table, chins on their fists.

If Marijke Sanders could see me now.

Then… school ended. Well, crap.

So I tried throwing some of these new-found skills into everyday conversations.

And they worked.

As the years went by, it became more and more second nature to hold the attention of a crowd. I actually feel more comfortable now in front of a crowd than I do most other places. What was once a huge weakness, a sweat-inducing, nerve-wracking experience is now… home.

You may not have to give speeches or play shows, but what I’m saying is this: you’re going to eventually have to interact with another human being – whether it be in front of people, or one-on-one. The only way we independents stay in work is by means of personal relationships. We don’t have a boss giving us a list of leads.

Lest you think this column is turning into a weekly self-congratulation, I should admit: this one-on-one networking thing is an area where my bashful side still reigns supreme. I am terrible at it. The other day, I saw a relatively well-known artist in my coffee shop. We have a lot in common. I mean.. too much, really. I have an entire list of talking points with which I could start a conversation, and I have even met him before! but what did I do?

Absolutely nothing.

I’m not saying I should have been a gherm, trying to land an opening spot on a tour from within the confines of my local coffee shop, but I should have said something, re-introduced myself, anything. It may have been an opportunity. It may not have been. But I’ll never know.

So I’ll do it if you will. I’ll try this week to purposely put myself in a position where I have to do the real-life equivalent of a cold-call and talk to a total stranger if you will do something that stretches your personal skills. Are you up for it?

I’ll report back next week.

-Levi

P.S. Today’s post was written from the parking lot a venue. This is going to be a recurring theme this fall – I’m playing a lot of shows. I heard a quote once (I think it was Josh Ritter, though it may not be an original) that “in this business, if you’re not going down the road, you’re going down the drain.” – While that sounds like a dad-ism, it’s totally true. So check out the tour dates if you’re so inclined (Tour Dates: http://www.leviweaver.com/tour). (they are in various stages of being booked.) and if you’d like to see me in person, maybe sign up on the mailing list.

Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/mhogan35/ / CC BY 2.0

Related posts

1. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: A Brief Introduction to my Madness
2. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: When Preparation Meets Imogen Heap
3. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: From a Starbucks in Portland
4. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: Lessons from the Road
5. Diary of a Wage Slave Rebel: Why I Killed Myself