For six months of my life I held down the worst job I have ever had. Though I hated it with a passion I kept it because, growing up, I inherited this view that work is supposed to be something you almost can’t stand to do. It’s to be boring, tedious, hard, low-paying, unfulfilling or any combination of the five. That in addition to my unquestioning support of the deferred-life plan made for a soul-sucking cocktail of liferape. (Yeah. Liferape.)

I spent those six months living for the breaks. For fifteen minutes in the morning, fifteen minutes in the afternoon and thirty minutes at lunch, I’d make my way to the break room, plop down at a computer and surf to every escapist destination I could. Photos of Bora Bora, videos of treks through China, stories of gap years and teaching English abroad and working at home and waking up without an alarm clock. Anything sounded better than the life I was living.

If you’re on this site reading this post, chances are you’re in about the same position I was. You are bored with your job, you have no social life, you have no hobbies, you have no time. Worst of all you’ve exchanged the things that make life worth living for the “security” of making someone else rich. You can’t keep doing that. Seriously.

This post… This is your first step to freedom. This will prepare you for what’s to come and help you finally launch yourself into that adventurous, fulfilled, happy, peaceful person you’ve been dying to become.

If you are happy with mediocrity, stop right here. No need to bother finishing. But if you want to visit the places you’ve been reading about, see live what you’ve watched on the Travel Channel, do the things your friends said were unrealistic and dominate the hell out of this one life you’ve been given, then continue reading.

This is what you have to do to attain the life you want.

Take the Blame

You are the only person who controls your life. Even if through guilt and expectation you consistently find yourself manipulated into doing things you don’t really want to do, you’re still the one who takes the steps and goes through the motions to make those things happen. If you are just getting started as a digital nomad, freelancer, blogger, entrepreneur or anything else that you really want to do, you’ll likely have an infinite number of “if onlys” pointed at your friends, parents or other family members who have somehow delayed your liberation. “If only mom let me take those dance classes.” “If only dad hadn’t talked me out of pursuing my writing.” “If only Billy didn’t tell me traveling was a pipe dream.”

Just drop it now. Truth is, all those people who you might blame for whatever life you have now don’t have so much influence over you. You were so willing to listen to the naysayers because you were scared yourself. Scared to do something remarkable, scared to push against the current. The first step to attaining the life you want is to acknowledge that you messed up in your past and to take full responsibility then let it all go.

Bad decisions in the past can’t help anything now. No reason to throw it in people’s faces. It’s your fault you’re not where you want to be. Just move on already. You have the ability to do everything you want to do starting right now.

Define Your Passion

For all the people who complain about the job they have keeping them from doing the things they want to do, a very small percentage actually know what it is their jobs are keeping them from. Have you ever sat down and written exactly who you want to be and what you want to do? Probably not. Most people live an unexamined life.

To get where you want to be, this has to change immediately. Right now get a sheet of paper and a pencil and start outlining who you want to be and what your goals are. What do you want to experience? Who do you want to meet? Where do you want to visit?

If you were the smartest, richest person on the planet, what work would you be doing? Who would you be helping?

Think long and hard about the answers to these questions. It might help if you give them a loose timeline. I like to make a list of goals for three months into the future so that I have some immediate actions to take and also a list of goals for one year from now so I can see the general direction of where I’m heading. Once you know what you want to do, you’re already further along than most people will ever be.

Commit to Your Calling, Not to an Outcome

Once you know exactly what you want to do, commit to learning everything you can about the destinations, skills, legalities and money they require. For example, if you want to be a professional blogger, read as many blogs as you can, befriend other bloggers, study what makes a good post, figure out how to craft an intriguing headline. What I’m saying is become an expert at your trade. Learn to do things the way already-successful people do things and then do them better.

Whatever you do, though, don’t get caught up on any particular outcome. You need to have an idea of where you want to go, but also be agile enough to adapt quickly to new opportunities. To follow the previous example, if you’ve mastered blogging and have your sights set on starting your own six figure blog, don’t be stubborn enough to pass up a $50k/year job as a regular contributor to someone else’s blog that would provide the same lifestyle.

Keep your goals simple. You want enough money and time to experience the joys of life and to never feel oppressed by “work”. Your goal can’t be more simply defined than that, and if something has all those qualifications (money, time, work you love, etc.) don’t hesitate to take it.

Conclusion

Following these three suggestions will get you in the right mindset for living the life you want. Even though they offer no specific advice, these are the hardest things to learn as you set out to live life on your terms. You essentially have to relearn everything you were taught about work and play.

Once you’ve changed your mind, everything else will fall into place almost by accident. You just need to begin looking for the opportunities.

Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/kwl/ / CC BY 2.0

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